Wowza…I’ve been goin through it. Recent events truly stirred up some things for me. Some uncomfortable latent memories came up & brought old, unexpressed emotions to the surface. It was pretty intense, but unbelievably helpful. I got to sit with these old emotions & feelings for a while. I’m so appreciative of the beautiful support I’m surrounded with that helped me with this excavation. I was able to feel my feelings as well as extract the gold from this old mine. I was able to recognize an old pattern of freezing in the height of stress, when my brain can’t seem to comprehend what’s happening & what I should do next. We’re probably all familiar with fight or flight, but I see my pattern of freezing. So appreciative that I see this so I can move forward with different choices & actions so I leave this pattern in the past.

It’s been weeks now that I’ve been immersed in these old wounds, working on healing them. My energy certainly shifted & I felt my vibration slowing down. I wasn’t as cheery or positive as I normally am & wasn’t liking how I was feeling on a regular basis & felt momentum going in a direction I didn’t want to continue. Bleh!

And then the other night, the most magical thing happened. Without thinking, I put a Pyrex dish straight out of the over & into the sink & turned on the faucet.

That shit shattered in a million pieces!

And thank god, not in my face…

I stood there staring at the sparkling mess for a few moments processing that this was going to require quite a bit of time cleaning up. I almost berated myself for doing something so stupid, but then it hit me, I’d NEVER speak to anyone else in that manner & I’d help someone else not only with cleaning the mess, but seeing the beauty in it.

I took a deep breath, sighed, & said to myself, “I’ll help you.”

For about an hour & a half, I carefully removed every piece of glass from that sink. (Gotta keep the hands safe-lol) With a sock on my hand, I faced an irrational fear of mine & extracted every shard from the garbage disposal. It was a strange, calm experience.

It wasn’t until the next morning when I realized I woke up different that I put that physical experience together with my own internal emotional experience. I woke up with the most exquisite exuberance & appreciation for life. I was seriously giddy.

I think something old in me shattered. All the old, unexpressed hurt released in a million beautiful, sparkling pieces. It hit me my mourning time was over & any longer in that momentum would have become wallowing & unnecessary suffering.

I cannot even begin to express how much I appreciate that experience. I watched a physical manifestation of a sudden shift in momentum from hot to cold to shattered that matched my internal experience of sadness & hurt to peace, joy, & appreciation to unbelievable release.

And to think I could’ve missed that gift had I focused on berating myself…

I know so much is going on in our world right now. I share this because I know like me, others have had their personal pots stirred as well. I urge you to use this time to heal those beautiful wounds of yours. Find a professional, talk to friends, contemplate…whatever it is you need to work through it & transmute that pain into love. Our internal environment is where our power lies & where our work is to be done. With this, we will change this world one person at a time.