Over the last couple of days, I’ve had a few knee jerk reactions that weren’t so pleasant. I honored myself by acknowledging my feelings, but not wallowing in the feeling too long. I began gently asking myself questions to really get to the heart of the issue, since I’m starting to identify a pattern. It is not the circumstance that is the culprit, but rather the lens that I’m looking through.
Instead of being upset with people & circumstances outside of me, which I cannot control, I’ve been choosing to take a deeper look into myself & my own beliefs. The truth is, I’ve found that strong reactions that cause pain in me are just pointing me to an unhealed wound…probably that I’ve been carrying around for decades. I’ve begun to thank these circumstances that allow my hurt, anger, unworthiness, shame, etc to come to the surface, because it gives me a clear place to start healing those wounds that will continually recycle in my experiences unless they are addressed. It shows up in a million different ways, in a million different scenarios.
Through examination, at the core, I find during the creation of these wounds, at whatever age I was, whatever uncomfortable, unpleasant situation I was experiencing, I put feelings of unworthiness & false beliefs of not being good enough around them. I didn’t have the tools to navigate through them in a healthy manner, & I suspect neither do most people. The funny thing is, these beliefs of unworthiness aren’t even true. We are all worthy. We’re born knowing it & forget it along the way. Perhaps if we each all truly knew our own worth, this world would look very different.